.Wednesday, April 26, 2006 ' 11:41 PM Y
Wei...and...Ting
why???why???why has things become so badly for us...maybe its all because of mine unreasonable, childish, not understanding character izzit??
But, is wanting your boyfren to care and concern about you... not acceptable??? wanting your boyfren to sms you at least once a day...too much???call you once a day too much???
he doesnt even have the time to call me...wats he doing???why does he doesnt even got a minute free for me??
Do you know i feel so happy whenever he could come out... And why do everytime have to be me that ask him first??If i dun ask him,sms him,call him... will he call me???sms me?? contact me??? i remember that time i was working at hush puppies, i sms him, ask whether he wanna meet anot... but he didnt reply... so call him at about 4 plus be... den he pick up, during that time i was so so so happy...i was so shocked that he picked up...and he said that he could meet me...i was so qi dai when i finish my work.... so that i could finally go out with mine dear....but, as i waited... i even went to buy the cookie that he wanted to eat that time...cause before dis day we got to meet for awhile...remember that time he said he wanted to eat the cookie but i didnt bring money...so i couldnt buy...i do not know why there is always apart of me telling me that dun be too happy, he may not be able to make it one...in the end, he really cant meet me...i was so disappointed...SUPER disappointed!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do people have such sweets happening things when they are attached??why do i always quarrel with him??? cant we go back to the time when we had such sweet time together?? Am i expecting too much???
I know that he got alot of works to do...alot of pressure...alot of things which i wish i know wat it is...but everytime when we had time to talk,we would end up quarreling in the end of the conversation... i really dunno who i can talk to... i got so so so so much things that i want to tell you... i wish that i could tell you all the things thats happening to me each and everyday...but, i dunno how i can tell you...how to contact you... you do reply mine sms but you would always disappear half way thru the sms...den i would be wondering wat you are doing...you busy izzit...you having lesson...you dun want me anymore....etc...all the questions would once again go thru my brain...
Somemore, your school got so many pretty,cute gals....wat am i compare to them...although you always say im thinking too much...and its better to be in ite...etc...i still couldnt stop myself from thinking all these questions....
I really wanna know wats going on...and i really hope that i could understand wat u are telling me...you seems to be keeping alot of things away from me...
To tell you the truth, everytime when you couldnt chat with me...i feel very lonely and neglected...i feel that you dun have feelings for me anymore...you got other gals already...and in order not to let myself think too much of these... i would sms zhiloon...and aaron(20 plus in age one)... den they could chat with me...how i wish the one that is chatting with me is you...you... my dear...my dear... you think i want to break up with you ar... you know how much my heart breaks?? and everytime whenever i say break up with you... you would not reply me...which breaks my heart even more...cause i would be thinking...you also want to break up with me...just that you want me to say first...
I really dunno how to say, but tell you ar... think i really fall in love with you liao ba... i never type a letter type till i cry one...never have i ever feel dis way towards any guy... or mayb i am just thinking too much... but everytime whenever i see nice nice things i wanna get for you...but i scare you dun like...like that time the T-shirt... i find that shirt kind of cute... so i tot of getting u one...but i dunno your size...i went back there twice to get the correct size...but i just cant get the correct size...and you told me not to buy for you anymore cause i choose one not nice one... den that time i was like.... never mind.... den when i working at hush puppies, i saw one of the shirt kind of nice and the size fit you alot...cause you like big big clothes... i wanted to buy for you so much...cause i finally see something that i think you will like... but i dont dare to buy... the auntie there call me not to dote on boyfren so much...must wait for him to dote on me...and she share her experience with me...hearing all those made me think that i was very pathetic...im not telling you all these to feng ci ni or wat... but im just telling you how i feel... cause i got tell you before that i wanted someone to dote on me...sayang me... i really hope you could be someone that can dote on me, sayang me... mayb you do...just that you are showing it in another way which i dun see it be...i also know that you wanted someone to sayang, love, show concern, dote on you... but i really dunno how when i cant be in contact with you...and everytime you would tell me that, you dunno how to love,sayang,dote on me...cause no one had shown you how... when i hear that... it really broke my heart... i was really speechless...i also dunno wat to tell you....
Whenever, i say breaking up with you... i really dun mean it... but i am really fed up... i dunno how to tell you how i feel.... i really wanted to chat with my dear... is it so difficult to do that...
I really dun wish to pressure you, hurt you, but i really dunno how i could communicate with you... i prefer to type all dis out then saying all these out in front of you.... seeing your nick now... guess you really dun wan me anymore ba...so... never mind... its okay.... there is so much more i want to tell you....but... never mind... watever i say to you, guess its all rubbish...
Maybe dis is the last time i get to "talk" to you ba....you also dun wish to talk to me anymore...you just take care of yourself ba... dun lock yourself up again... open up...know more frenz... i wont be your burden anymore... must really take care of yourself hor... drink more water... if your cough still not okay... go see a doctor... dun drag already... or go to the pharmarcy to get medicine...and take care of your body too... dun injured yourself again... thanks for giving all those happy and unforgetable memories... Love you always... miss you lots...byebye...i really missed you lot....bye my dear!!!! All the best for your studies... study hard....
